Blessed

It's been quite a long time since my last post. Like two years. And, as in anyone's life, a lot can happen in two years. Where shall I begin?!

Well, let's see. David and I celebrated NINE years of marriage this past April; Natalie turned FIVE in August; Sawyer will be FOUR in January; I am finally quitting my job in TWO months!!! Wow! That's a lot in two years! I am truly blessed.

I think what shocks me the most of what has happened in two years is... well, all of it! It seems impossible to think David and I have been married for almost ten years. I remember my wedding day like it happened two weeks ago. And here we are, nine years later. Deeply blessed and thankful of all God has done for our family.

Here are our two little monkeys. It's hard to imagine I have a five and three year old. Geez Louise.

They are growing like little cute weeds. And I love these weeds dearly. We have officially started homeschooling around here. Natalie is in kindergarten and I've been doing some preschool stuff with Sawyer. Some days he doesn't want to do school, and other days he does. At his age I'm not making him. He's going to be in school for quite sometime. No need to rush things. Natalie is doing pretty good in her work. I'm having to focus my attention on her, well, attention span. Or the lack there of. But, we're both new to this and we're getting the kinks worked out.

Among other news, I mentioned earlier that I was quitting my job. YIPPEE!!! I'm so excited! And I just can't hide it! Since I've been working at the ripe old age of 15, we are finally able for me to stay at home. And it's all because of God. This would never have happened if it weren't for His goodness shown toward us. For the last 10 years, my husband has worked and hour and a half away from home. This year his dear uncle retired from an auto transmissions shop that just so happens to be six miles from our house. And it just so happens my husband's line of work is rebuilding transmissions. Huh. Funny how that works, isn't it? So dear said uncle just so happens to ask my husband if he would like to take over said transmission shop. And it just so happens my husband said "yes". It was more like a "YEEESSSS", after much prayer and discussion. I like to think that it wasn't "just so happens". I like to believe God knew what He was doing all along. I still have a hard time believing that I am actually leaving the work force in December, Lord-willing, but I'm just praising God for His goodness on our family.

Hopefully I can get a regular posting schedule down. I went back and re-read all my past posts and realized how much I missed writing those handful of thoughts. I had forgotten a lot of the things I had written about Natalie. I know a few people who use blogging as a sort of journal - to keep up with life. I like that idea.

I hope life has found you well, and I hope you are finding yourself drawing closer to God and thanking Him for His boundless love and mercy. Have a wonderful week!

Blessings,
Keisha

It's elementary my dear Watson

Yes. That's what I told myself after my "revelation" the other night.

It's elementary my dear Watson.

So about said "revelation". I have had my priorities all wrong, and I couldn't figure out why everything was such a mess until my "revelation". I had been falling down on housework, my wifely duties, and had been extremely un-motherly the past several weeks. So while driving home the other night from my sister's house, I just poured out my heart to God. Crying the whole time while David and the kiddos slept, I just prayed and prayed. Praying to God to show me where I had gone wrong. I had been short with the children, un-wifely to David(in certain ways if you catch me), and had absolutely no energy or inspiration to lift a finger in the house. Then I would feel guilty about not doing housework, and I would not spend time with the children or David because it "had" to be done. I wasn't making the time up to them. I felt so beaten down. So guilty. I literally was lying on the couch ALL day long, and then go on a tangent to do housework. I was wallowing in self-pity and Satan took it and ran. And he ran fast. David and I hadn't been "close" because I was too "tired and worn-out". That really puts a wedge in a marriage relationship let me tell you. Physical intimacy is SO important in a marriage. Satan can drive the nail deeper too. I noticed we were short with each other. All I would do when David came home was nag about what I had not got done that day, how terrible the kids were, etc. Then the guild would come about nagging and how miserable I was feeling. It was just a big, nasty circle.

So I was just praying and sobbing in the car and it was like the Lord just said, "Will you just be quiet and listen for a second?!". Ok I'll take that as He heard me.

As I was listening to Him, I realized my priorites were terribly wrong. I was so concerned with being a homemaker first, a mother second, a wife third, and a child of God last. Oh no. It doesn't work that way. God had to shake me awake.

I need to be a child of God first; godly wife second; godly mother third; and lastly a homemaker. God was telling me,"No wonder you're such a mess! You're doing it all wrong! I WANT and HAVE to be first, and I will make all the other areas fall right into place." It didn't get much clearer than that for me. Don't you just love it when God lets you have a little "revelation" that is so elementary, but can be so hard to see?!

As women it's easy to feel like we have to do it all. Have a perfectly spotless house, have perfectly behaved children, and a perfect marriage that doesn't have to be worked at. But each time we feel like we fail, that's our reminder that "we" are supposed to fail and reach to Him to pick us back up.

Once we realize in our roles that God needs to come first, He will take care of everything else. It also means it won't be easy either. I passed a church sign just the other day that read "Faith makes everything possible, not easy." God will not give us more than we can bear. But when "we" feel like it's too much that's when we need to lean on Him.

I hope this post encourges you to put Him first in your life. I know I have defintely noticed a change. I just needed to step back and let Him take control of my life. And what's so funny is that this "revelation" that I had, I knew it all along.

He just has to sometimes whisper to us that "It's elementary my dear child".

Listen close.

Sweet Words

It seems somedays all that comes out of my two-year old is quotations from Dora the Explorer, the infamous "No!", or something else she has made up. Today was very special. Especially for me.

It all began two years ago when we would tell Natalie we loved her every night before she went to bed. We would also tell her we loved her at different times of the day. Here lately she has been telling us after we tell her as she is getting in her bed. But today...today was very special. She told me she loved me FIRST! It may not seem like a big deal, but she has always only told me she loved me after I tell her. My heart lept for joy! I immediately told her I loved her too, and I scooped her up and gave her big ol' hug. What joys these days of motherhood are bringing my way.

She has also been telling me to sing "The Garden Song". I couldn't think of what she was talking about because I don't remember singing a song about a garden. Anyhoo, she started singing it today. It was soooooooo sweet! She sings "I come to da garden awone, wher da dew is still on da roses. And da boice I hear fallin on my ear...". That's all she knew of the song, but it was the most beautiful words ever to this mamma's ears. I had her sing it to David when he came home. He loved it!

I cherish these days with my little ones. Somedays it seems the day will never end because the children have been crying, whining, and the like. But, that's all part of it. I'm so thankful God placed these children in my care. Somedays I forget that He chose ME to raise and care for these particular children. He knows that there is something in me that is exactly what they need to grow and to learn. And, also to point them to Him to use for His glory. I pray that God would grant me wisdom to care for and to teach these little ones for Him.

I hope you had a great weekend. Ours was great! Nothing planned that we had to go to, and those are my favorite weekends where we just "wing it". I had two migraines yesterday. One in the afternoon that finally went away, and just about 7:30 I had another one creep up on me. David was fantastic and helped out tremendously with the children. He does so much for me!

Until next time!

Something To Remember

As I sat rocking my little man to sweet slumber last night, I was going through how my day went earlier. It was one of "those" days. You know, where you have all these wonderful plans about getting so much accomplished, but it all goes south. Well, yesterday was one of those days. I was pretty much gone from my house all last week, and unfortunately, my home suffered tremendously. Laundry was neglected, dishes piled high...you get the picture. I don't normally do housework on Sundays, as I believe it is the Lord's day - for rest. Plus, both of my children were sick. Anyhoo, I had all the plans of waking up Monday with having my house spotless by the time David was home from work. Yeah right. Woke up feeling horrible. Like you had just ran over me, backed up, and tried again with a Mack truck. Add a 100 degree fever and it wasn't a pretty sight. Nor was I for that matter. My day consisted of lying on the couch and only getting up to fed my sweet babies or change a stinky which was happening a lot with Sawyer seeing how he is on antibiotic for an ear infection. We're potty training Natalie, but that just flew out the window as of yesterday. Oh well.

So, short story long, I got nothin' done and was rocking my sweet boy thinking how terrible it would be to have something happen to my child. It's not healthy to ponder those things, but as mothers, I think it's normal sometimes. I sat there cradling him, thanking God that he was healthy and safe and warm with a full belly. Then, my mind started wondering what would happen to him and Natalie if something happened to me and David. Who would take care of them? Would they remember me? All I could picture was Natalie asking whoever she was with "Where's Momma?", "Is Daddy at work?". I almost began to cry. On a side note: I normally don't think of these horrible things, but it was just one of those days that happened to be on that time of the month if you catch my drift. That thought really got me to thinking.

How do I want my children to remember me?

Do I want them to remember me as a mother who was too interested in keeping a clean house rather than keeping them? Playing with them. Praying with them. Praying over them.

Do I want them to remember me as a mother who, when they disobeyed, would react out of anger and frustration, rather than love? I'm 100% guilty of this and it breaks my heart when I look back at my faults as a mother. All I can do is pray that the Lord would help me and give me wisdom.

I want my children to remember me as a mother who spent time with them, teaching them the things of God, praying over them. I want my children to remember walking in on me praying beside the bed, praying to our Heavenly Father. I remember this with my own mother. What a nice memory to have and to cherish. That my mother loved the Lord. That's what I want my children to know and to remember. That I loved the Lord.

But, this is all wonderful. All these things I want them to remember me by. The list can go on and on. But, more importantly, am I doing these things?

I know this post was probably scattered, and I do apologize if so. So heavy my heart is. I hope you get the point I'm trying to convey. What do you want your children to remember you by? Are you doing those things?

WORD Wise Wednesday

This is a verse that really hit home this morning as I was reading my Bible:

Proverbs 10:3 The LORD will not suffer the soul of the righteous to famish: but he casteth away the substance of the wicked.

Wow! Are we as a nation traveling down that road or what?! For many, many years, our nation was founded on Biblical truths and most of our fore fathers were claimed Christians. Look how God blessed our nation! But just look at the way things are going now. I don't know much about politics, and I don't keep up with current affairs, but I do know that things have changed. Would you say that our nation has turned sour on God? It seems all I do hear are wicked people doing wicked things? How long will He "suffer" us, or is He "casteth away the substance of the wicked"? Just some food for thought!

Hope everyone has a blessed day! Thanks for stopping my nook on this world wide web!

So Thankful

It's safe to say that this week so far has been MUCH better than last week. I poured my heart out to the Lord and my sweet husband the other night. Things were brighter. My husband graciously listen to my "problems" and just gave me a big 'ole hug and told me he loved me and that I was doing a great job at being his children's mother. Since that meltdown, I have undoubtedly seeked God for His wisdom and greater appreciation for my children. I needed a change of heart. The change is still is coming, but I can certainly tell it has arrived.

Sometimes, when the going gets rough and tough, it's easy(for me anyways) to view our children as a "job". Something that we have to "look after" until the next day, and start all over again. I found myself doing that a lot lately. I kept seeing my children, or their needs, as just something else I had to do. I was burned up and burned out. But, praise God, He's totally refreshed my soul and is slowly teaching me to ENJOY these days that my children are still babies. One day, in the not so distant future, they will be leaving my house, it will be quiet, and I will be sad. I will be longing to hear the pitter patter of little feet, see the crayon scribble all over the wall, and wipe a dirty mouth covered in cheese puffs. Yes... I will. I'm so thankful for the refreshed spirit sent by the Holy Spirit. I don't want to ever view my role as a mother as "just another task". I know I will have many days to come that I will feel weary.

Please don't take what I'm saying the wrong way. Every mother know exactly what I'm talking about when I say I was burned out. I'm so thankful though that I know and serve a God Who is so much bigger than me, and He is so faithful to supply my every need. I love my children dearly with all my heart and being. I want to continue in looking at them ALWAYS as our gift from God, that He has entrusted us with these little bodies and minds to look after and bring them up however He sees fit.

Oh Be Careful Little Eyes...

Today was definitely one of those days where I wanted to lock myself in the closet and scream to the top of my lungs. It was terrible...I'll be honest. And it was totally my. For the past two days, I have woke up in a terrible mood. Terrible. Why? No idea. Maybe hormones. Maybe the devil. Definitely because my relationship with Lord has slipped severely. I found myself with no fuse whatsoever, so every little thing Natalie would do, I would completely lose it. Totally. And like any other normal child would do, she picked up on MY bad attitude, and she had a bad attitude all day long. And so did I. Until...

"Oh be careful little eyes what you see...oh be careful little eyes what you see...for the Bible tell me so". That completely broke my spirit. I gave completely up right then and there. I fell into the dining room chair. Sobbing. Weeping. This entire day I had been yelling at her, being a horrid mother in my eyes. And here she starts singing this sweet song that I sing to her all the time. And for the first time I hear her sing it my herself. She added "Jesus Loves Me" in there, but it was perfect. At that moment I realized my foolish behavior, horrible attitude, and wretched human self-centeredness. Hearing my daughter's two-year old voice singing those sweet words was like Jesus Himself telling me to lean on Him. My day was not going to get better unless I looked to Him for peace in my heart, and to take away my feelings of self. All I could do was say "Lord, please help me". And you know what? Peace like a river flooded my soul.

Natalie came running into the dining room as she heard me crying saying, "What matter, Momma? Okay? Okay. I kiss it." And she leans over and kisses my knee. I sob even harder. After all MY foolishness today, she kisses me. My heart melts. And I kiss her back. I'm so glad the Lord speaks to us in even the smallest events. But He knew it was what I needed. As always...