Something To Remember

As I sat rocking my little man to sweet slumber last night, I was going through how my day went earlier. It was one of "those" days. You know, where you have all these wonderful plans about getting so much accomplished, but it all goes south. Well, yesterday was one of those days. I was pretty much gone from my house all last week, and unfortunately, my home suffered tremendously. Laundry was neglected, dishes piled high...you get the picture. I don't normally do housework on Sundays, as I believe it is the Lord's day - for rest. Plus, both of my children were sick. Anyhoo, I had all the plans of waking up Monday with having my house spotless by the time David was home from work. Yeah right. Woke up feeling horrible. Like you had just ran over me, backed up, and tried again with a Mack truck. Add a 100 degree fever and it wasn't a pretty sight. Nor was I for that matter. My day consisted of lying on the couch and only getting up to fed my sweet babies or change a stinky which was happening a lot with Sawyer seeing how he is on antibiotic for an ear infection. We're potty training Natalie, but that just flew out the window as of yesterday. Oh well.

So, short story long, I got nothin' done and was rocking my sweet boy thinking how terrible it would be to have something happen to my child. It's not healthy to ponder those things, but as mothers, I think it's normal sometimes. I sat there cradling him, thanking God that he was healthy and safe and warm with a full belly. Then, my mind started wondering what would happen to him and Natalie if something happened to me and David. Who would take care of them? Would they remember me? All I could picture was Natalie asking whoever she was with "Where's Momma?", "Is Daddy at work?". I almost began to cry. On a side note: I normally don't think of these horrible things, but it was just one of those days that happened to be on that time of the month if you catch my drift. That thought really got me to thinking.

How do I want my children to remember me?

Do I want them to remember me as a mother who was too interested in keeping a clean house rather than keeping them? Playing with them. Praying with them. Praying over them.

Do I want them to remember me as a mother who, when they disobeyed, would react out of anger and frustration, rather than love? I'm 100% guilty of this and it breaks my heart when I look back at my faults as a mother. All I can do is pray that the Lord would help me and give me wisdom.

I want my children to remember me as a mother who spent time with them, teaching them the things of God, praying over them. I want my children to remember walking in on me praying beside the bed, praying to our Heavenly Father. I remember this with my own mother. What a nice memory to have and to cherish. That my mother loved the Lord. That's what I want my children to know and to remember. That I loved the Lord.

But, this is all wonderful. All these things I want them to remember me by. The list can go on and on. But, more importantly, am I doing these things?

I know this post was probably scattered, and I do apologize if so. So heavy my heart is. I hope you get the point I'm trying to convey. What do you want your children to remember you by? Are you doing those things?